How I Would Line Up the LA Kings for the 2011-2012 Season

Barring any last minute additions, the Kings roster for next season is set. Despite a plethora of young talent down in Manchester, I think that the Kings really only add one rookie to the lineup this season – and even that may be wishful thinking on my part.. Next season, with more free agents perhaps leaving the Kings, will be their chance to shine, but for now, here’s how I would like to see the Kings lineup on October 7^th, when they open the season – assuming Drew Doughty signs of course.

Forwards

Line 1: Dustin Penner- Anze Kopitar – Justin Williams

This line played together for a while last season after the trade that brought Dustin Penne to the Kings – and they looked pretty good. Once Williams then Kopitar went down with injuries, Penner was useless and looked lost out there. But I think he was a bounce back season – if for no other reason than because it’s a contract year and what he earns in the future depends on this year. Kopitar is money in the bank, and I expect him to have the best offensive season of his career – with two legit first line mates, and a backup center man to take the pressure off. Williams may very well be changed up with Brown at various points this season, but I like his skill set alongside these two more than Browns.

Line 2: Simon Gagne-Mike Richards-Dustin Brown

The two biggest offseason acquisitions – in Simon Gagne and Mike Richards – have already played together with much success in Philly, so they go together naturally. Dustin Brown adds even more physical play, and a nice scoring touch, to what should be one of the best second lines in the Western conference.

Line 3: Kyle Clifford-Jarret Stoll- Brad Richardson

This line has a little bit of everything in it. As a second line center, Stoll just didn’t quite cut it, but he should be great as the third liner, playing tough minutes, and taking key draws, and adding a little secondary offense.. Kyle Clifford adds defensive responsibility and a mean streak to the line, and Brad Richardson is a capable plug to fill out the line. It may not be flashy, but they’ll be fine.

Line 4: Scott Parse – Andrei Loktinov – Trevor Lewis

I really hope Terry Murray keeps Andrei Loktinov this year (he is the one rookie I mentioned), because he has so much skill, and it would be great for his development to spend the whole year with the big club. With three very capable two way center men in front of him, and the likelihood that he’ll play the least hard minutes of the bunch, Lotki could add some valuable secondary scoring – especially if he’s teamed with Scott Parse, who he matched well with in Manchester, and the speedy Trevor Lewis, who will still be on hand to kill penalties. After all, Stoll is UFA next year, and could easily fly the coop. It would be good to know what they really have in Lotki before that happens.

Extras: Ethan Moreau, Kevin Westgarth

Injured? Colin Fraser.

Call Up Possibilities: Andrei Loktinov, Brandon Kozun, Justin Azevedo, Dwight King, Linden Vey

Ethan Moreau was a late offseason signing, and he should provide some experience and leadership to the team. Having said that, he’s aging, and injury prone, so I wouldn’t count on him night after night. Facing a tough team, and want a little more sandpaper in the lineup? Throw him in. Otherwise, he’s the type of veteran the press box was made for – and at only $600,000 – it didn’t cost you much. As for Westgarth, I’ve made my opinion about one-dimensional goons clear over the years – I don’t like them and I wish the Kings didn’t have one. But Terry Murray is an old school coach, and he likes them, so he’s on the team. I’d rarely put him in the lineup – only when the other team has someone similar. Still, he should barely play.

The big question about the Kings’ lineup is Colin Fraser, who the Kings got in the Ryan Smyth deal, who turned out to be far more injured than the Kings thought he was. The Kings filed a grievance over the deal, and so far I’ve heard nothing, so either the decision hasn’t come down yet, or else no one is talking about it. Either way, I think Fraser remains a King. He may be injured when the season starts, meaning there will be room for Loktionov. However, if he isn’t, there isn’t room unless the Kings put Fraser on waivers and get rid of him, which they say they won’t do. Personally, I think Fraser is another one, like Moreau and Westgarth, who will spend significant time in the press box, even when healthy. But if he does come back healthy, it certainly makes it a lot harder for Lotki to get his chance – something I think he deserves.

As for call up possibilities, if he doesn’t make the big club, than Loktinov is the go to guy, as he was last year. If he does, then I really don’t know. The Kings used Oscar Moller last year, but he decided to return to his native Sweden this year – as did Manchester’s leading scoring Bud Holloway. Dwight King was used briefly, and did not perform well, but he’s a solid third or fourth line guy (last year, paired with Kopitar, he didn’t have it). Guys with more offense include Brandon Kozun, but he’s small, Justin Azevedo, but he’s small, and Linden Vey, but he’s small. In general, I think that with the Kings depth, few forward call ups will be made. After all, both Richardson and Lewis can slide over to center if need be, and Loktinov, Parse and Stoll could all fill top six roles. And with two healthy scratches already, I doubt many forwards from Manchester get a good look this year.

Defense

Pairing 1: Drew Doughty-Willie Mitchell

The number one pairing for most of last season, these two worked well together, and I there is no season to think they won’t do the same this season. Mitchell is the calm, steadying, stay at home guy and Doughty flashier, but also great defensively. They can play in all situations. Now just sign a damn contract Drew!

Pairing 2: Jack Johnson – Rob Scuderi

Jack Johnson has improved over the years, but he still needs a stay at home defensive stalwart like Scuderi to bail him out of trouble once in a while. Johnson has similar offensive skill as Doughty, but not the same defensive prowess. Scuderi is the calmest player I’ve ever seen out there – he never makes mistakes, and he helps to temper Johnson’s reckless impulses.

Pairing 3: Alec Martinez – Matt Greene

Personally, I would have tried to trade Matt Greene this offseason – with all the talent in Manchester on defense, he isn’t really needed. But he is still a solid, physical presence back there – a perfect third pairing guy. He just needs to be more disciplined. Alec Martinez proved he was the young defenseman from Manchester to beat last year, and loyalty is big for the Kings, so this is his spot to lose.

Extra: Davis Drewiskie

Call up Possibilities: Thomas Hickey, Jake Muzzin, Slava Voynov.

Drewiskie had his chance at the beginning of last season to show he was capable of being a day in, day out NHL defenseman – and he lost his spot to Martinez. So now, he fills the Peter Harrold role of d-man who sits for months at a time. In all honesty, I think if there are any major injuries to a defenseman this season, than the Kings will call up Thomas Hickey, Slava Voynov or Jake Muzzin, who are young and skilled enough that the Kings don’t want them sitting all the time, to fill the void, but Drewiskie will get the odd game.

Goalie 1: Jonathan Quick

Goalie 2: Jonathan Bernier

Call Up Possibility: Martin Jones.

Last season was Jonathan Bernier’s rookie year, and many thought that by the end of the season, he would have stolen Jonathan Quick’s starting job. But two things made that not happen – one is that Bernier struggled early in the season (the second half was pretty great though), and the other was that Quick played brilliantly for the Kings. He was arguably their MVP last season – and unlike the previous year, he didn’t burn out, and also played very well in the playoffs. But now that Bernier has his confidence up, Quick does have to watch his back. Any stumble could be all Bernier needs to take the job from him. The situation will eventually have to be resolved – with one of the two of them traded – but right now, they seem to get along just fine, and both are signed for another two years at very reasonable rates, so that time hasn’t come yet. The Kings do have an AHL All star in Martin Jones, and a few very good goalie prospects in Junior, but all will need more seasoning before they get to the NHL – unless an injury makes it necessary.

Movie Review: Warrior

Warrior *** ½

Directed by: Gavin O'Connor.

Written by: Gavin O'Connor & Anthony Tambakis & Cliff Dorfman.

Starring: Joel Edgerton (Brendan Conlon), Tom Hardy (Tommy Conlon), Nick Nolte (Paddy Conlon), Jennifer Morrison (Tess Conlon), Frank Grillo (Frank Campana), Kevin Dunn (Principal Zito), Maximiliano Hernández (Colt Boyd), Jake McLaughlin (Mark Bradford), Vanessa Martinez (Pilar Fernandez), Denzel Whitaker (Stephon), Kurt Angle (Koba), Erik Apple (Pete 'Mad Dog' Grimes), Anthony Johnson (Orlando 'Midnight' Le).

Since the UFC became hugely popular, I have seen several movies about mixed martial arts, but they all seem to be done cheaply and exploitatively. Like the recent spat of dance films, the MMA films up until now have all been about the fighting, with little things such as character development, plot and even basic visuals taking a backseat to seeing a bunch of muscle bound thugs beating the shit out of each other. There is plenty of muscle bound thugs beating the shit out of each other in Gavin O’Connor’s Warrior as well, but for the first time, a movie about MMA has been made with care and intelligence – great acting and a fine visual look and feel. Yes, Warrior is as clichéd as they come as far as underdog sports movies go, but I didn’t much care when I was watching it. I was too busy being entertained.

The movie is about two very different brothers, who grew up with a hard drinking, hard driving, and abusive father named Paddy (Nick Nolte) who trained both of his boys to be fighters. At some point during their teenage years, the younger brother Tommy (Tom Hardy) took off with their mother to get her away from her abusive husband. The older brother, Brendan (Joel Edgerton) stayed around, because he was in love with – and would eventually marry – Tess (Jennifer Morrison). The brothers haven’t spoken since, and in fact Tommy hasn’t spoken with much of anyone, joining the Marines and fighting in Iraq, just to show up on Paddy’s doorstep one day. Paddy tells him he has stopped drinking, but Tommy hates the old man anyway. Brendan will at least let Paddy call him, but he doesn’t want him near his wife and kids.

Meanwhile, a rich man has decided to put on the biggest MMA tournament in history – Sparta, to take place in Atlantic City over the July 4^th weekend. Tommy gets in because he makes him a Youtube sensation by beating the crap out of one of the top contenders in a sparring match. He needs a coach, and Paddy was good at that – if nothing else – so he enlists his help. Brendan, who was once a UFC fighter, is now a high school teacher, but needs money badly, so he fights in pickup matches in the parking lot of a strip club. After showing up with too many bruises, he is suspended for the rest of the year. Needing money, he decides to train harder to win bigger purses, and enlists his old trainer to do so – who also happens to be training one of the top contenders for Sparta. When a few days before the start of the tournament his contender hurts himself, guess who gets to take his place?

So yes, the whole movie is about the lead up to Sparta, and what we know will be eventually be a brother against brother battle, between two men who act like they hate each other, but really do love each other. You get no points for guessing that fact, especially since they have built almost the entire preview around that. But Warrior is not just another mindless movie about men who kick the shit of each other. There are real characters beneath the three grizzled tough guys at the center of the movie. And three excellent performances.

Nick Nolte is perfectly cast as Paddy. A lot of guys can, and have, played recovering alcoholics, but Nolte brings credibility to the role because we know his assorted history of alcohol and drug abuse, and we can see the ravages of what it has done to him all over his face, and hear it in every raspy word he speaks. Remember, Nolte was once selected by People magazine as the “Sexiest Man Alive”, but those days are long behind him. He brings the right note of regret and longing to his role as Paddy, a man who just wants his family back, and knows he has no one to blame but himself. Tom Hardy, so good in recent years in films like Bronson and Inception, here seems to be trying to channel a young Marlon Brando – he is all dark, brooding intensity. He says very little, but you can tell whatever secrets he is hiding are tearing him up inside. The movie only gradually reveals his past, and unlike other movies, here this works. The main character though is Brendan, and it’s hard to find a more sympathetic character than Joel Edgerton’s in this film. He is a man fighting for his family – and that elevates him. He doesn’t get to be as dark and brooding as Hardy, or as full of remorse as Nolte, but he carries the movie.

The film was directed by Gavin O’Connor, who seems to have made a career out of doing underdog sports movie. Warrior follows the hockey film Miracle and the swimming film Pride and Glory on his resume. For me, this is inarguably his most complete film. I love the dark, visual look he gives to the film early on, and MMA has never seemed as exciting to me as it does here (every time I stop on a UFC fight on TV, it just looks like two half naked guys writhing around on the ground).

Warrior certainly does not bring anything new to the table of underdog sports movies, but I cannot think of the last time I enjoyed one as much as I did this one. Yes, the movie is manipulative in the extreme, and as it progresses, it gets more and more unbelievable. But I didn’t care. Warrior is one of the most purely entertaining films of the year.

DVD Review: The Ward

The Ward ** ½

Directed by: John Carpenter.

Written by: Michael Rasmussen & Shawn Rasmussen.

Starring: Amber Heard (Kristen), Mamie Gummer (Emily), Danielle Panabaker (Sarah), Laura-Leigh (Zoey), Lyndsy Fonseca (Iris), Jared Harris (Dr. Stringer), Sydney Sweeney (Young Alice), Mika Boorem (Alice), Susanna Burney (Nurse Lundt), Sean Cook (Jimmy).

John Carpenter was one of the few people involved with the short lived horror series “Masters of Horror” to truly earn that title. Back in the 1970s and 1980s, Carpenter was responsible for some of the truly creepiest, scariest movies around with films like Halloween and The Thing. He even proved he can stretch beyond horror, into action and science fiction with equal skill. His films feel refreshingly old fashioned, even when they are set in the future – Westerns are an obvious favorite of his, even when set in modern day LA (Assault on Precinct 13) or Mars (his last theatrical film before this, a decade ago, Ghosts of Mars). Carpenter was a true horror auteur – you could always tell his films apart for his contemporaries, and his steadfast refusal to change could be the reason why aside from those two Master of Horror episodes he made, we have not really heard from him in 10 years. So, I think many horror fans like myself were eagerly anticipating his latest film The Ward. I have a feeling that like me, they will end up disappointed.

Set in the 1960s, The Ward is about a young woman, Kristen (Amber Heard), who we first see setting fire to a farmhouse while scantily clad, and then carted off to the most under populated mental ward in movie history. Here she meets here new ward mates – Emily (Mamie Gummer), who is clearly insane in some way, Sarah (Danielle Panabaker), who bats her eyes at every male orderly in sight, Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca), who draws everything and Zoey (Laura-Leigh) who acts like a little girl. They are overseen by a Nurse Ratched type, and a psychiatrist who we don’t really trust, since he is played by Jared Harris. He wants to cure Kristen, of what we’re not at first sure, but she only wants out. And soon, she wants to know who the ghost she keeps seeing around the ward is – especially when her ward mates start disappearing.

Before watching The Ward, I was hoping for an old fashioned horror movie from Carpenter. I am tired of the overly graphic, so called torture porn movies that aim to disgust viewers rather than scare them. These started with the Saw series, and continued to devolve into the Hostel films, and other horrid movies. American horror films are once again at a crossroads, because it seems like people are just as tired as I am with all these torture films, but nothing really has come into to replace them (but if we get more films like James Wan’s Insidious earlier this year, an example of how to do an old fashioned ghost story right, I’ll be happy). To be fair, I think Carpenter wants to do old fashioned horror, but for the first time, he seems to have relented a bit. I am tired of seeing pretty young girls strapped to gurneys and brutally murdered, and while Carpenter accomplishes this much more skill, and much less graphic bloodletting, than many contemporary filmmakers, I still had a hard time caring that much about it, and after a promising start got increasingly bored with The Ward as it went along.

It must be noted that the performances in the film are actually quite good – especially Heard who has skill to match her beauty, and seems comfortable in exploitation films like this – although she is much better in Drive Angry, one of my biggest guilty pleasures of this year. And Carpenter is still a striking visual filmmaking, so while the story creaks along to its inevitable conclusion (which really, you should seem coming way before the character do), the film is always interesting to look at. I’m not sure if The Ward is proof that Carpenter has finally lost his edge, or just evidence that someone needs to give him a better screenplay. Either way, The Ward ultimately, disappoints.

My (Very Much Truncated) TIFF Preview

Regular readers will know that every year, I usually take a week off and enjoy the Toronto Film Festival - taking in about 30 movies in that time, and loving every minute of it. But, as I mentioned last month, my wife just had a baby, and as such, a weeklong festival trip simply is not possible this year. Instead, I'm only going for 2 days, and a total of 6 movies, unless I pick up some tickets for those days before then. I do have a five hour break between movies on one of those days, and currently the plan is to use that time to see Nicholas Winding Refn's Drive (which is playing at the festival the first weekend - this one coming up and opens the following weekend) and perhaps Rod Lurie's Straw Dogs as well. We'll just have to see.

So, there were dozens of movies that I wanted to see this year, that I simply did not even have a chance at. Films like A Dangerous Method (Cronenberg), Melancholia (von Trier), The Artist (Hazanavicius), Moneyball (Bennett Miller), Corilanus (Fiennes), Restless (Van Sant), Le Havre (Kaurismaki), Albert Nobbs (Garcia), The Ides of March (Clooney), Into the Abyss (Herzog), I Wish (Kore-eda), The Kid with a Bike (Dardenne), Killer Joe (Friedkin), The Lady (Besson), Like Crazy (Doremus), The Moth Diaries (Harron), Michael (Schleinzer), Outside Satan (Dumont), The Oranges (Farino), Rampart (Moverman), The Skin I Live In (Almodovar), Sarah Palin - You Betcha (Broomfield), Take this Waltz (Polley), Twixt (Coppola), We Need to Talk About Kevin (Ramsay), Wuthering Heights (Arnold) and Your Sister's Sister (Shelton) are just some of the films that in years past I may have tried to get tickets to, but this time, I'm simply going to have to wait.

But all things considered, I couldn't be much happier about the 6 films I am seeing. All of them were on my pre-festival watch list, and I am happy that by the time I got to buy tickets they were still available. So look for my thoughts on the following six films following the festival.

Take Shelter (Jeff Nichols) - Critics who saw Jeff Nichols debut film, Shotgun Stories, absolutely loved it. Unfortunately, almost no one saw it. That should change with his Cannes prize winning Take Shelter, which reunites him with star Michael Shannon, in a story about a man paranoid about an upcoming apocalypse who builds a storm shelter. I cannot wait.

Tyrannosaur (Paddy Considine) - Considine has been delivering great performances for years now, and now he steps behind the camera for this dark study of martial abuse. Stars Peter Mullan and Olivia Colman won acting prizes at Sundance this year, so if nothing else, it should be an acting tour de force.

Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory (Joe Berlinger & Bruce Sinofsky) - Like many film fans, I have followed the story of the West Memphis Three since Berlinger and Sinofsky's Paradise Lost in 1996. They are three teenagers who were convicted of murdering three younger children on almost no evidence. The pair followed up their documentary in 2000, and are back again now. Strangely, just last month, they entered Alfred pleas, which allowed them to maintain their innocence, while asserting the prosecuters had enough evidence to convict them, and were set free. So this story continues, but I am looking forward to this latest documentary.

The Descendants (Alexander Payne) - Payne made 2004's most critically acclaimed film in Sideways, and has taken a long 7 years to follow it up. I don't know much about this movie, which is how I like it, but the reviews so far suggest another winner. It stars George Clooney, who has become one of the most consistent actors out there. Here's hoping for another gem.

Dark Horse (Todd Solondz) - In 1998 following two huge successes with Welcome to the Dollhouse and Happiness, Todd Solondz was a critics darling. His three films since - Storytelling, Palindromes and Life During Wartime - have not generated the same praise, and I am at a loss as to why. To me, Solondz continues to be among the most daring filmmakers in the world, and I will follow him anywhere. The cast of this - which includes Christopher Walken, Mia Farrow and Selma Blair (hopefully as great here as she was in Storytelling) has me excited.

Martha Marcy May Marlene (Sean Durkin) - Durkin's debut film was a prize winner, and received rave reviews, at this year's Sundance film festival. It is the story of a young woman (Elizabeth Olson, younger sister of Mary Kate and Ashley), struggling with adapting to life outside of the cult she spent years in. Word is Olson, and perhaps John Hawkes, are due Oscar nominations for this one, so I'm looking forward to it.

2011-2012 NHL Season Predictions

The New NHL season just over a month away, and while a few teams still need to do some things before it starts (like my beloved Kings getting Drew Doughty under contract), for the most part, rosters are set. Since I’ll be spending less time at the movie theater, I’ll probably be spending more time watching hockey. Here’s how I see the two Conferences shaking down.

Western Conference

The more competitive of the two conferences to be sure, I see two epic battles shaping up for division titles – the Sharks and the Kings in the Pacific and the Red Wings and Black Hawks in the Central. But seven of the eight playoff teams from last year should be back this year.

1. Vancouver Canucks – Last season the Canucks had one of the best seasons any team has ever had - statistically anyway. And the only loss that will hurt badly is Christian Ehrhoff leaving for Buffalo – but considering the Canucks defense is built on depth, not on any one player I think they’ll be fine. The Sedins will likely finish near the top of the scoring race again, and if Kesler returns to form after surgery, he’ll still be one of the best second line centers in the game. It doesn’t hurt that the Canucks are in far and away the worst division in hockey. The big question remains Roberto Luongo – but that’s mainly a playoff thing. In the regular season, the Canucks are still the team to beat in the West.

2. San Jose Sharks – San Jose is the only team to make it to the final four in each of the last two seasons, but not wanting to rest on their laurels, they made big, bold moves this offseason. Brent Burns certainly helps the offense from the blue line, but I still feel the Sharks are missing that big time d-man. But that’s about all they’re missing. Gone is the distraction of Dany Heatley, and in comes Martin Havlat, who will put up similar numbers for less money and headaches. The team is aging a bit, but they’re still a force to be reckoned with.

3. Detroit Red Wings – Every year, I want to write off the Detroit Red Wings, and every year, they come back strong. Despite injuries last year, they once again won their division – although that probably had something to do with the Hawks Stanley Cup hangover. Still, any team anchored by Nicklas Lidstrom, Pavel Datysuk and Henrick Zetterberg is a team to not take lightly. Jimmy Howard responded well between the pipes last year, and while he’s not an elite goalie, the Wings don’t need one (right, Osgood?). It will be close but the Wings will win their division again.

4. Los Angeles Kings – The Kings made a bold offseason move, giving up their top prospect in Brayden Schenn, along with fan favorite Wayne Simmonds, to get Mike Richards out of Philly. The message was clear – the Kings time to win is now, not the future. With Richards playing behind Kopitar, the Kings have a one-two punch down the middle that stacks up against anyone in the league. Their defense remains intact (as long as Doughty signs – and he will), and they were one of the best d-cores last year, and should be this year. The goaltending tandem of Quick and Bernier are as strong as anyone has. Ryan Smyth is gone – and good riddance – and Simon Gagne should provide similar numbers for far less money (and more defense to boot). Yes, it was sad to see Handzus go, but the truth is the Kings didn’t need him. They will compete for their division title this year, and hope to make their first deep playoff run in years. If they don’t, it will be a major disappointment.

5. Chicago Blackhawks – The Hawks had a very disappointing year last season. Part of that was Stanley Cup hangover, and part of it was a Salary Cap that screwed them. But with the cap crunch off, and a better rested team, I think the Hawks can regain their form for their Stanley Cup winning season. They still have Toews, Kane, Keith and Seabrook as their core, Corey Crawford as a stellar goaltender, and a much deeper supporting cast this season than last. Sometimes when you win a Cup, it takes a while to get over it. The Hawks are now out of excuses and I expect to see them return to form.

6. Anaheim Ducks – There are several questions facing the Ducks this season. Will Selanne come back? Is Hiller over his vertigo problems? Was Corey Perry’s Hart winning season the real deal or a fluke? And while those are all legitimate questions, I still think the Ducks have a good enough team to make the playoffs. After all, even if Perry overachieved last year, he-Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan are still perhaps the best line in hockey. I don’t doubt Selanne will be back, and coming off of an 80 point season, even if he declines a little bit, he’s still solid. Depth is a real issue for the Ducks, in that they don’t have it, but for the regular season, they’ll be fine.

7. Nashville Predators – Let’s face facts – given the team they have, the Nashville Predators should never make the playoffs, but they do every year. As long as Barry Trotz is behind the bench, that will continue. True, they may never be able to lock up Shea Weber long term, and Ryan Suter and Pekka Rinne, their other cornerstones, may leave at the end of the season, but for now, the Preds will continue to pull of the impossible, and make the playoffs. Don’t ask me how they do it.

8. St. Louis Blues – This team has been poised to make a jump for a few seasons now, and never seem to be able to do it. But as long as they stay healthy, I think this is their year to go back to the playoffs. Backes and Stewart are both excellent power forwards who can score, Alex Pietrangelo is one of the best young d-men in the league, and I expect Halak to rebound from a lackluster season. Throw in veteran leadership from Arnott and Lagnebruner, and you have a solid team, who should be able to scrap their way into the playoffs.

9. Calgary Flames – The definition of insanity is to try the same thing repeatedly and expect different results. And that is pretty much what the Flames are doing for the third season in a row. They have a solid team, yet no real young talent to give them energy. Dealing away Robyn Regher helped their cap situation, but hurts their blue line. Mikka Kipprusoff is aging, and not quite what he once was. Ditto Jarome Ignila. And yet, they were one of the best teams in the second half of last season, before collapsing in the final weeks. If they don’t dig themselves such a huge hole this year, maybe they can make the playoffs. But I doubt it.

10. Columbus Blue Jackets – Columbus is under tremendous pressure to make the playoffs again – which is why they gave up promising Jakob Vorocek and a first round pick for Jeff Carter, and threw a ridiculous amount of money at James Wisenewski. Both of those players will certainly help the Jackets be better this season, but I still have my doubts. For one thing, Carter is a sniper, as is his line mate Rick Nash. Carter is undeniably the best center Nash has played with in the NHL, but do they fit together? And the big question is still Steve Mason in net. The Jackets need him to be the goalie he was in his rookie year, not the one who has struggled ever since. If he can regain his form, perhaps the Jackets can really compete. If not, it will be another long year.

11. Colorado Avalanche – I seriously do not get some of the moves the Avalanche have made recently – mainly trading away Chris Stewart for Erik Johnson, and trading away a first round pick for Varlamov. And yet, on paper, the Avalanche do not look like such a bad team. They just need Varlamov to prove me wrong, and they could even claw their way into the playoffs. They have an extremely talented group of young forwards who can score, and while their defense isn’t stellar, they are adequate. There’s no doubt they are still in rebuild mode, but perhaps they can move the process along a little bit this season.

12. Phoenix Coyotes – Dave Tippett has proven himself to be a great NHL coach, leading the cash strapped Coyotes to two straight playoff appearances. But the reality is, the system Phoenix plays depends a great deal on having a top notch goalie, and since they replaced Bryzgalov with Mike Smith, they don’t have one. Bryzgalov helped to keep the Coyotes in games, and let their team effort on offense and defense work, but without him I don’t see the Coyotes having much of a shot in a tough Conference and division. This may very well be the last season in Phoenix for this team, and it looks to be a painful one.

13. Minnesota Wild – Give the Wild credit – they made some ballsy moves this offseason. First was trading away their top defensemen in Brent Burns for Devin Setoguchi, an extremely talented winger, who has consistency issues. The second was trading away the steady Martin Havlat for the enigmatic Dany Heatley. This was a team in desperate need of an offensive upgrade, and those two should provide it – hopefully anyway, because if not you just have a very expensive long term problem in Heatley. But their defense, usually their strong suit, has taken a major hit. Honestly, I think the end result of these trades is a further step back for the Wild, but who knows? Perhaps I’m wrong.

14. Edmonton Oilers – There is no question that the Edmonton Oilers are an exciting young team. They are in the best position long term of any of the non-playoff teams in the Western conference – but they still need to wait for their young talent to truly hit their stride. Their goaltending is still lackluster at best. Their defense core still lacks any legitimate top pairing talent. And their young offensive stars play on the wing – unless Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, who needs more time, makes the team this year. The Oilers are building towards something to be sure. But it’s still quite far away.

15. Dallas Stars – Let’s face facts – The Dallas Stars were a mediocre team last year who missed the playoffs despite having Brad Richards. This year they lost him, and didn’t replace him with anyone. New additions Michael Ryder and Sheldon Souray will not help all that much. Money issues are a real concern for the Stars right now, and they simply do not have a good enough team to compete on a nightly basis. There will be bright spots, but I think they finish at the bottom this year.

Eastern Conference

The Eastern Conference is not quite as strong as the Western Conference is. All you need to do to see that is look at the point total required to get into the playoffs each year for each conference, and you’ll see the East is lower by five points or more. Still, this is where most of the media attention will fall, and there are some great races shaping up. When all is said and done though, I still think the same 8 teams make the playoffs.

1. Washington Capitals – It’s silly to question the Washington Capitals, who despite their stumbles in the playoffs, are always at the top of the Eastern Conference in the regular season. And this Capitals team may just be the best one in recent memory. They added much needed grit up front in Joel Ward and Troy Brouwer, a strong veteran d-man in Roman Hamrlik, and finally a truly great goalie in Thomas Vokoun. As long as Ovechkin can regain his form (and he will), and Backstrom and Semin step up (less sure), then the Caps will once again rule the Eastern Conference – and may well be the team to beat for the Cup this year.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins – Who knows when Crosby will be back for the Pens? If it’s early, then they can truly push the Caps for tops in the Conference. If not, the Pens still have a great one-two punch down the middle with Malkin and Staal. And the Pens found a better team game than ever before after the injuries last season. James Neal should step up more this season, and Steve Sullivan may well turn out to be a great pickup. The d-core is solid and Marc Andre Fleury has never been better. If they get Sid back, watch out. Even if they don’t, they’ll be formidable.

3. Boston Bruins – The defending Cup champs are pretty much the same team they were last year. Take out Michael Ryder (who was inconsistent) and Mark Recchi, and that’s basically it. This will give someone like Tyler Seguin a real chance to play this year. With Tim Thomas in net, and Zdeno Chara on the blue line, the Bruins are still the best in their division. With the right breaks, they may even be able to defend their Cup. I doubt it, but it’s possible.

4. Philadelphia Flyers – No team took bigger chances this offseason than the Flyers – dumping their Captain Mike Richards, and leading scorer Jeff Carter, to bring back prospects and young players. And then they added Jaromir Jagr. And of course finally solving their goalie woes (they hope) with Ilya Bryzgalov. This team has long been dysfunctional, with players split between Richards and Pronger. With Richards gone, this is Pronger’s team. But he’s aging, and may be injured to start the season. Still, this group of players – with Giroux and Briere leading the way offensively – is just too good to finish that low this year. If they do, heads will roll. But I still think this is a great team.

5. Tampa Bay Lightning – The Lightning surprised a lot of people last year simply by making the playoffs – then went all the way to the Conference finals. They won’t surprise anyone this year, but they should still be a solid team. They need Stamkos to be more consistent – after getting off on a tear last year, he disappeared from much of the second half of the season. They also need to hope that old guys like Martin St. Louis and Dwayne Roloson still have enough left in the tank, and that the resurgence of Vinny Lecavlier continues. This is a solid team all the way through their lineup – and one that should have no problem making the playoffs this year.

6. Buffalo Sabers – The Sabers days of being a have not team are certainly over, as they made some bold moves this offseason, which certainly improve their team. Still though, I doubt if all of those moves will really make this team one of the truly elite teams in the Eastern Conference. Their improved defense should help Ryan Miller be the goalie he can be (and too often wasn’t last season), but they still need a little more firepower up front. They should make the playoffs no problem this year, and could be a team to contend with, but I still think they need a few more pieces before they make a big move.

7. New York Rangers – Congrats to the New York Rangers landing the biggest free agent fish in Brad Richards. Now, they just have to hope he turns out better than Scott Gomez, Chris Drury, Wade Redden and Marion Gaborik did for them, when they were the offseason big fish they landed. The Rangers are becoming a better team – their youngsters are becoming better every season, and they still have one of the best in the league in Henrik Lundqvist. But they are still a notch below the best this conference has to offer.

8. Montreal Canadians Carey Price was robbed of a Vezina trophy nomination last season, and he looks once again to be the main reason why the Canadians make the playoffs this year. Here’s hoping that PK Subban has matured a little bit this offseason, and that Eric Cole adds the power forward they desperately needed. But really, other than Cole, did the Canadians really improve this off season? How many games will it be before Markov hurts himself? The Canadians are still a bubble team.

9. Toronto Maple Leafs – Every year desperate Leaf fans hope that this will finally be the year they make the playoffs (along with the Panthers, they are the only team not to make it since the lockout). This year, they may actually do it. With James Reimer hopefully being a goalie they can rely on, and Cody Franson and John Michael Liles solidifying an already good d-core, the pressure really comes down on the forwards. Can Clarke MacArthur do what he did last year? What about Kulemin and Grabovski? Can Tim Connelly finally be the center Phil Kessell needs? The real question is whether the Leafs will remember that the season starts in October, not January.

10. Carolina Hurricanes – The Hurricanes came up just short of the playoffs last year, and I think they do the same thing this year. They still have one of the best in Eric Staal, and Jeff Skinner is a legitimate star, but their cap issues will always keep them below the rest of the conference. They have a solid, but unspectacular team. If they can overcome some consistency issues, they may well make a push this year.

11. New Jersey Devils – The Devils are hoping that having Zack Parise healthy all season will lead them back to the playoffs this year, after a disastrous season. Perhaps it will, as he is their best player, and perhaps first round pick Adam Larsson will prove to be a great d-man. And perhaps Martin Brodeur will regain his form. But that’s an awful lot of perhaps, and not a lot of certainty. Another season out of the playoffs could spell big changes for the Devils, so they will try to ensure that doesn’t happen, but I remain unconvinced.

12. New York Islanders – Despite the fact the Islanders are facing life without a home in a few years, the fact that they have a crazy owner, and a GM who has made some questionable moves, the truth of the matter is that the Islanders are one of the most exciting and fast young teams in the NHL. They are kind of like the Oilers of the east. This means a lot of entertainment value, but not necessarily a lot of wins. They are building towards something, but they aren’t there yet.

13. Winnipeg Jets – The good news is that the Jets could lose every game this season, and the folks in Winnipeg would still be over the moon in love with them. The bad news is while they will win sometimes, this is still a team riddled with holes in their lineup. This is a young team, that could really do something down the line – but those holes, and the horrible travel schedule they’ll face, will keep them near the bottom this year.

14. Florida Panthers – They spent like drunken sailors on free agent day and despite the fact that this team looks better than the one last year (if you ignore the goaltending of course), that doesn’t make them very good. They overpaid a lot of their players, and helped out Chicago big time by taking Brian Campbell’s ridiculous contract off their hands. They have some promising youngsters on their team, but they are years away from competing.

15. Ottawa Senators – They are in full rebuild mode at this point, and their lineup looks kind of like a really good AHL team, with a few veterans thrown into the mix. The Senators probably waited a year or two too long, holding onto hope that they were still an elite team. They still have some good players, but the real mission for the next few seasons will be to be really bad and pick up some great draft picks to build around. Because right now, they suck.

Stanley Cup Final Prediction

And now, just for the hell of it, my Stanley Cup final prediction.

San Jose vs. Pittsburg. Winner: Pittsburg.

Why? The Sharks have been building to this for a while, and I really do think the attitude on that team is now or never. There off season moves should help to solidify their defense and penalty killing, while maintaining their potent offense. Say what you want about Antii Niemi, but his playoff series record now stands at 6-1. They could even be good enough to challenge the Canucks in the regular season, but the fact that Vancouver plays in a horrible division helps them a great deal.

As for the Pens, it really does look like Crosby will be out to start the season, which is bad news, and could very easily lead to them being behind the Caps, and others, when he comes back (and I do believe he will be back at some point). Yet, with Crosby, I really do think the Pens are the best in the league, and you know he’s keeping as in shape as possible – it’s just the type of guy he is. As long as he has a few months before the start of the playoffs, he’ll be back in top form – and I think the supporting cast is good enough that they can, and will, win the Stanley Cup.

DVD Review: Pom Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold **

Directed by: Morgan Spurlock.

Morgan Spurlock is a funny guy, but I’m not sure he’s as funny as he thinks he is. His first documentary, Super Size Me, worked because Spurlock was a nobody, an unknown comic presence who decides to do something incredibly stupid – eat nothing but McDonalds for a month – and was surprised by just how god awful it was for him. That movie was clever, in part because I don’t think Spurlock was trying so hard. In his two features since, the almost insufferable Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? and the now the slightly better Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, Spurlock is trying too hard to be clever and funny – and the result just isn’t very good.

The idea behind the movie is that Spurlock will fund an entire documentary on nothing but product placement money. The movie will be about him trying to finance the movie. So we see him on the phone with many big companies, trying to convince them to come on board as a sponsor, and telling them what they will receive by doing so. For $1 million you can even get your name above the title of the film, which is how the movie became to be known as Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.

The point of the movie, if there is one, is to make product placement invisible for the audience. To show them just how much they are being targeted by huge corporations who want to slip advertising into everything they watch. Practically every blockbuster has some sort of tie in products, from fast food chains to cars to toys and everything else you can imagine. And then, of course, there are those product placements in the movies themselves, which can be as subtle as someone drinking from a coke can, or being thuddingly obvious, as people mentioning the product by name over and over again (and Spurlock has examples of both in the film).

The biggest problem with Pom Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is that Spurlock isn’t actually telling you anything you don’t already know. You’d have to be pretty dense not to see product placement in the movies and TV these days, which makes one of his talking heads interview subjects suggestion that you be informed when you are being advertised to in the body of a movie redundant. We know already. Wayne’s World brilliantly skewered this way back in 1993, and David Mamet’s State and Main did an even better job more than a decade ago, when the director of the film within a film had to find a way to get the name of a website into a period movie (and succeeds). Spurlock’s interviews with political and intellectual and business figures like Noam Chomsky, Ralph Nader and Donald Trump are not all that enlightening, because we know what they’re going to say before they say it. His interviews with filmmakers like Peter Berg and Brent Ratner, who both admit there is product placement in the movies but don’t see how it effects the film itself, are equally dull (after all, does it really matter if we see Will Smith drink a coke in a movie?) His interview with Quentin Tarantino is a little more enlightening, if only because Tarantino admits he was turned down by Denny’s not once but twice, when he wanted to set scenes from Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction in one of their locations.

Pom Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is at its best when Spurlock is talking to the companies interested in investing themselves, and when doing his “ads” that he puts right into the body of his movie. Spurlock shows a knack for these ads, which makes you think he’d be a great pitch man if he decides to go that way. Spurlock is very good at being both overt and subtle in his product placements.

The film its at its worst when Spurlock wonders aloud on screen (as he does quite a bit in the film’s second half), if he is selling out by making this movie. If he didn’t want to run the risk of looking like a sellout, he shouldn’t have made a movie about him raising money for a movie from ad revenue alone. It comes with the territory.

Ever since Super Size Me came out in 2004, Spurlock has been compared to Michael Moore. The reason is clear – both of them take on big corporations in their documentaries in an amusing way, putting themselves front and center in their films, so the film is about them as much as anything. The difference between Moore and Spurlock – what makes Moore a wonderful filmmaker and Spurlock an average one – is that there seems to be real anger and passion behind all of Moore’s films. For better or for worse, Moore believes in what he is telling you, and he works hard to convince you he’s right. Spurlock lacks that same passion. He still seems like a goofy kid with a movie camera making movies for a laugh. Those can be successful, but much of the time they aren’t – as Spurlock’s last two films prove.

DVD Review: Henry's Crime

Henry’s Crime * ½

Directed by: Malcolm Venville.

Written by: Sacha Gervasi & David N. White.

Starring: Keanu Reeves (Henry Torne), Vera Farmiga (Julie Ivanova), James Caan (Max Saltzman), Judy Greer (Debbie Torne), Fisher Stevens (Eddie Vibes), Danny Hoch (Joe), Bill Duke (Frank),  Peter Stormare (Darek Millodragovic).

I imagine that you could change very little about Henry’s Crime and make it into a terrific screwball comedy. This is the type of film that Howard Hawks or Preston Sturges or Ernst Lubitsch could have directed in the 1940s, and despite how ridiculous the plot is, made it into a comedy classic. The film should move at around 100 miles per hour, with whip smart, rapid fire dialogue. But Henry’s Crime takes its lead from it’s main character Henry (Keanu Reeves) who moves at about 10 miles per hour. He is so laconic in this movie that it practically puts you to sleep. I don’t really think it’s Reeves’ fault. Sure, he isn’t good in the film, but he plays the role the way it was written. But when you write a should be screwball comedy, with a laid back, lazy, zen like main character, you are pretty much doomed to failure.

Reeves is Henry, who works as a night toll booth operator in Buffalo. He comes home from work one morning, and just as he and his wife (Judy Greer) are getting into what we sense is an old argument about kids, there is a knock at the door. It’s Eddie (Fisher Stevens) and Joe (Danny Hoch), two old high school friends of Henry’s, who tell him they need him for a softball game that day. Despite the fact that’s its about 8 in the morning, and November (and Buffalo), Henry sees nothing wrong with this. Afterall, they do have uniforms. Slowly, much too slowly, Henry figures out that there is no softball game, and he’s really been enlisted as the getaway driver in a bank heist. Of course, Henry is arrested, and for reasons that I could never figure out, he doesn’t name names, so he ends up in jail.

If you have to go to jail, you want someone like Max (James Caan) as your cellmate. He’s a nice guy – an old con man, who has been in jail for more than 20 years, and plans to spend the rest of his life there. He’s comfortable in his routine. But Henry gets out after just over a year, but has nothing in his life. His wife left him while he was in jail (for Joe, one of the bank robbers who abandoned him no less), and as an ex-con, a job won’t be easy to find. But then he figures he should rob the bank he was arrested for robbing in the first place. If you’re going to do the time, you might as well do the crime. So Henry convinces Max not to throw his latest parole appeal, and help him out. He also meets Julie (Vera Farmiga), who is starring in a play in a theater across the street from the bank. When Henry finds out that there used to be a tunnel between the theater and the bank vault, he thinks he has found his way in. All he needs to do is get cast in the theater’s production of The Cherry Orchard. How hard could that be?

The problems with Henry’s Crime started at the writing stage, when they conceived a lead character who was so passive. How can we possibly relate, or like, a character who is so blasé he doesn’t even care that he is going to jail, or that his wife leaves him for one of the people responsible for putting him there? Henry just simply lets everything wash over him, drifting from one scenario to another. The problems were compounded by director Martin Venville, who doesn’t seem to recognize the comic possibilities of the movie, and decides to direct it at a snail’s pace. And in the casting of Keanu Reeves, who is already one of the most passive actors around. Put him in a role like this and it’s coma inducing.

You can see James Caan and Vera Farmiga trying to draw some life out of their characters, but to no avail. You can see that Fisher Stevens wants to be let loose and do the kind of broad, screwball character he’s best at. And Peter Stomare, as the Russian director of the play, has pretty much decided to act in his own little movie, of which he is the star. At least he shows some life.

But that’s mainly what is missing from Henry’s Life – life. The film simply drifts by, so that by the end of the movie you realize just how little happened in the movie. And how much you simply do not care.